Anna & Flori take you through a mindset shake up so that you can step afresh into 2019 leaving behind some of the bad habits that might be impacting your business.
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TUNE IN TO HEAR ABOUT
- How most people don't compare apples with apples when measuring themselves up to competitors
- How leaving fear behind helps you to connect with your ideal customer
- How to combat the habit of people pleasing
- Why you should keep the promises that you make to yourself
Flori Pyke: [00:00:45] Welcome to Episode 34 of the Raising Her Game Podcast. Anna and Flori coming at you and we are back together post the Christmas holiday, New Year fun.
Anna Jonak: [00:00:57] And we have a cracking mindset session coming your way today even if I do say so myself. Look it's still early January right. Okay. And right now it is totally our mission to motivate and inspire your butt into the most epic 2019 on every single front, hence this mindset session. But on that note actually if you haven't joined us already we are live right now in our goal setting challenge. It is all going off. It's frigging epic. If you haven't got involved you really should. So dive in right now, theelevatory.com/gsc-2019 because if you want to set goals, you want to pick the right goals, you want to get out of your own way, you want some more butt kicking after today. Get in there.
Flori Pyke: [00:01:40] Yeah it's going off. It is like I get goose bumps during this time like watching everyone set the goals and then start to see the transformations and what not, which is actually very timely for me to say given what we're gonna be talking about today.
Anna Jonak: [00:01:55] Yeah. All the wake up calls. [Flori agrees] Well that's exactly right. Today is just another wake up call or a gentle punch in the face I think I've been described before. I deliver a gentle slap in the face.
Flori Pyke: [00:02:08] Yup I love that one, gentle slap or punch. Yeah you fit both categories so there you go. No it's great. Everyone needs it. It's so true.
Anna Jonak: [00:02:18] Everyone does need it. It is true. Yeah just a quick hashtag winning and moaning. Moaning look at me. Oh my God. That was a Freudian slip. [laughing] Oh I don't know what happened there. Winning losing moaning. What's winning? What's winning in your world?
Flori Pyke: [00:02:32] Oh well challenge time. I have to say like I just said you know goose bumps. I get so excited around this time like just watching the transformation from people starting out and then over the course of the days and watching that change and that shift in mindset is pretty rewarding. So I'm really enjoying this challenge time. It's pretty electric to be honest.
Anna Jonak: [00:02:58] That is a good word. That is definitely a good word. Yep it is. I don't even think you can describe it. And if you ever run a challenge and unless you've been in one that is really going off I think it's really hard to describe as somebody facilitating and running it and knowing that you're kind of creating that impact. It's really, it's awe inspiring.
Flori Pyke: [00:03:19] What about you. What's cracking on the winning?
Anna Jonak: [00:03:20] Winning for me actually is the app development. I'm very excited about all of the whole kind of look and feel of the dashboard, what the look and feel like and the functionality of the app and just being on our students phone and them literally pick us up via an app on the phone and dive into content wherever they're going and have everything working like as in we're really going through lots of user experience to make sure that it is shmick. It's amazing. It's just how we want it cause I've been on a lot of apps, actually business apps and they're not great like as in you can tell they've done quite a cheap tech job to develop the app and then it logs you out all the time, you can't do what you want to do in it. So from that perspective the user experience is really important and something I'm pretty excited about.
Flori Pyke: [00:04:10] Yeah well the feeling is mutual. Our graphic designer has been on fire so it's yeah, it's pretty exciting. OK hashtag losing. I would say probably, so my cousin was visiting me from Argentina which was so lovely and I enjoyed the visit so much. And now he's just left today which I'm kind of sad about because I really got to know him. I had only kind of met him for one week of every year growing up until I hit about 21 and then I saw him maybe twice again for few days at a time and he came to visit us and he's staying in Australia for a few months so at least I'll get to see him again. But he did his first three weeks with us and it was so much fun and he's left so a bit of a hashtag losing moment. But you know silver lining is I'll get to see him again. So that's good.
Anna Jonak: [00:04:59] Can I just ask though, is the hashtag losing moment slightly because you've lost a babysitter?
Flori Pyke: [00:05:03] There is definitely an element of that of someone to rock the baby. [both laughing]
Anna Jonak: [00:05:08] I was going to say live in nanny. I get the losing. [Flori says my "manny"] I know right. Yeah. Well my losing is the panic of school, the actual the kid going to school, my biggest boy going to school and all the prep that goes into that. And the fact that he has been literally freaking out about it for like so long already that like now we're literally I'm like trying to force him to like cross off days on the calendar to count down and trying to make it as exciting as possible. But oh my god just the emotion coming from my child and me trying to manage it in a way where he's getting excited is challenging shall we say. But I know he's going love it. And now on the other side and we'll be talking about this in the podcast in a few weeks about how like maybe it was traumatic for the first few weeks but now he's loving it. But yeah I've got the butterflies for him because of the way he's been in the last few months.
Flori Pyke: [00:06:02] Poor little bunny. He'll come around though like you said. I think like once he kind of dips his toe into the water there and makes a few friends and hits the ground running he won't look back. He'll be all in. It's hard though.
Anna Jonak: [00:06:15] Can I actually just say one last thing actually which is going better hashtag winning. My last is toilet trained. They're done. [Flori says wow] Yeah. My friend. That's it. No more nappies.
Flori Pyke: [00:06:25] She said. Famous last words until she fell pregnant. [Anna laughs] Kidding, not kidding.
Anna Jonak: [00:06:32] Kidding, not kidding. Shut up. [both laughing]
Flori Pyke: [00:06:37] She said 2019 is going to be a big one. [both laughing]
Anna Jonak: [00:06:41] I'm so not pregnant. Don't. Everyone will start thinking I'm pregnant. [Flori says well not yet] Oh sheez. Oh my God. No. Anyway moving on. [Flori laughs] The title for today's episode is the four bad habits to leave behind in 2018. And you know what we see lots of bad habits recurring from our students and followers alike through challenge time and more. And today we just wanted to deliver a bit of a wake up call. Wake up, shake up you know. Let's leave these bad boys behind in 2018 and step into 2019 afresh with some new ‘tude so that we can move ourselves forward in life and business. So let's dive in to habit number one. And we did talk about this. It's a big one and we see a lot right is self-comparison.
LEAVE SELF-COMPARISON BEHIND
Flori Pyke: [00:07:31] Yeah it's huge. This is really interesting because often when you and I talk about analysing your competitors, people get scared about doing it because they start comparing themselves to their competitors. [Anna agrees] And this is where it depends on how you choose to approach this. You can choose to look at your competitors and others in the marketplace and see it as s**t you know what I'm just not there. I'm not doing enough. They're doing so much better than me. Or you can choose as what these people are doing better than me. Let's get inspired. Let's see what's working for them. How can I apply this to my business to make this better? And that's kind of one key lesson that stands up for me right away when we talk about self-comparison.
Anna Jonak: [00:08:22] It's the choice that you have when you approach it. Because a lot of people don't. They approach it from an angle of they are better than me. I'm inadequate. You know I'm not doing a good job. Now if you do tend to approach it from the negative Nelly angle, don't worry. Most people do as Flori said. But we do want to draw your attention to a few things in the shake up and wake up. And first, all I really want you to ask yourself, are you actually comparing apples with apples? Because when you are looking yourself who might be absolutely nailing it in their business, it is like have you actually been in business the same length of time or are they five or six years ahead of you? And do you have the same skills and experience? Have you done the hard yards? Are you actually really working harder? Are you applying the hours? Have you invested in your training and do you know what you should be doing to grow your business? Are you doing what they are doing? Are you investing in your marketing? Like basically in other words, is your comparison justified? Or you know what are the expectations you have here? I was saying to Flori right at the beginning of the journey for us like Marie Forleo and Denise Duffield-Thomas, these were all people that we looked at and really aspired towards. And you know we didn't look at them at the beginning of the journey and feel bad about ourselves. We were like hot dang how are we going to get there. I said Oh my God we're so gonna be those people. Let's go. What can we learn? What can we model? What can we take out of it? And I was saying that like Denise Duffield-Thomas on her website somewhere she is like nine years into her business now and she started her current business, Lucky Bitch, you know in 2010 when she started life coaching and in her words it was her four thousand eight hundred and seventy six attempt at business. You see most of you all know who Denise Duffield-Thomas is. And like you know she's Australian. She's absolutely nailing it. And I think it's so important to see she's nine 10 years in, she is not an overnight success in her own words. And likewise from our perspective had we compared it like that the beginning we would not feel great about ourselves. We did not. We looked at what we could aspire towards and I tell you what we're three and a half years into our business now, three and a half four years. I don't even know now it feels like forever.
Flori Pyke: [00:10:31] No I think we're just over three years, not even three and a half.
Anna Jonak: [00:10:34] I don't know why. I think it's more maybe it's because of the numbers in the years but anyway... I would say that we're in a position now when looking at Denise Duffield-Thomas we're not far off my friend. We're not far away. You know our focus was right, there. [Flori agrees] The difference that you making that choice towards aspiration vs comparison in a negative way but also that the whole point here is it's the perspective that with which you're coming at the comparison because if you have the wrong perspective you're going to feel bad and it doesn't do anything for you. Another thing alongside that which I think is super important is that, I love this kind of quote is that we only see two things: what we want to see and what others want to show us. And I think here. What do you think? What do most people look at? Flori, like when they're looking at like success? What do you think they're looking at?
Flori Pyke: [00:11:25] Well one of the big things that we hear about a lot and even when we talk to our students for the first time I find that a lot of them are really compelled to share their social numbers with us. So you know how many people they have on their Instagram as followers and how many fans they have on their Facebook page. But you know exactly when we use the word perspective I want you to think about this. Does that translate to sales? Does that translate to a true reflection of what's going on the inside behind closed doors you know? Does it mean that just because they have 50000 followers that they're actually killing it? That they are a successful established business with a great brand you know? And that they are achieving more turnover than you just because you have five thousand followers and sister, can I just tell you it does not. But [Anna agrees] it goes back to that exact word that you said Anna, perspective you know and being... There's such a focus on that social stuff. I think one of the examples actually that we're chatting about before we started was that of our coach which I think you should talk about because it is the best example.
Anna Jonak: [00:12:34] Yes. This man, so our business coach we work with, he's a legend and he literally, I kid you not, has like 10000 Facebook followers [Flori laughs] and like 2000 on Instagram and I was just joking, and I said this Instagram s**t. No offence James. And because it’s literally just surfboards and coffee and like you know smoothies. I mean hello. It's not even any kind of anything about his products or anything. But he's like a multi-million dollar coach. He has like you know he has a mastermind. He has a program. He has so much other stuff going on. He is one of the smartest, most amazing people that we know. Yeah. But the whole point is if you look at and I mean his brand, no offence again he doesn't, he's not very pretty in terms of his branding. It's very kind of like slapdash man kind of like you know. [Flori agrees] But it's really interesting and I think this really just goes to show like not to get obsessed with things with a sparkle. Exactly that is and all the facade. If you see this facade and everything else, it doesn't mean actually what is underneath is doing anything and we've seen a lot of businesses that did a really good job of sparkling and with really big audience numbers that have folded because they weren't making any money. They didn't have business strategy. They didn't have foundations. They had no overarching marketing strategy. They didn't have sales funnels. And we have said again and again, we have not had a social strategy. [Flori says we've flown by the seat of our pants] We haven't ok until now.
Flori Pyke: [00:13:57] Yeah. Honestly. And even then I mean now it's a focal point for sure. But do you think that Anna and I sit here for hours on end figuring out what you know, how we're gonna piece it all out? What we're going to post this month on that day? Forget it. We don't. You know why? Because, to this day to this end it has not fuelled the growth of our business. And you've got to focus on what matters, on what works. And because it hasn't. It's never gonna get a huge level of importance. Yes. OK. Now we have the time and we have the capacity and team member to help manage this but believe me it's not top of the totem pole when you know you've got a full plate and it's all about the 80-20 rule what are we going to invest our time in. Social strategy is not top of the totem pole because it just simply has not made the business. Plain and simple.
Anna Jonak: [00:14:44] So there are a few lessons in this one, in self-comparison we really want you to take home. Watching others is definitely important. We've said. We've said that on previous episodes but do it with an objective perspective. Remove any emotion and look at it for facts and insights only that will serve you and help you go. Use it to lift you up. Get excited. Improve what you're doing. Set goals that you can chase. Chase where you want to get to and make things happen rather than sit there and feel bad and just realise again what you see isn't necessarily what's going on. So focus on running your race my friends. [Flori agrees] Focus on your lane and being better and being more awesome.
LEAVE FEAR BEHIND
Flori Pyke: [00:15:20] Totes. OK. So habit number two is to let go of the fear in terms of putting yourself out there. And I see this a lot in particular from a marketing standpoint in the coaching forum, particularly for expert service providers or even people who are selling their own product. I see this see all the time. They have a really big fear of putting themselves out there, putting their face out there, their own ideas. Because at the core of it I think there's a fear of rejection, of judgement, but also of failure to some degree. Well what if this fails and I've put myself out there and then you know my face is out there and my words. But you know what, it doesn't come down to that. Like you need to be confident in putting yourself out there because and I've said this before, but you know people connect with people. They don't connect with just some logo that they've never seen before. And the fact of the matter honestly is that if you can't, if you struggle to put yourself out there, then you're really going to struggle to grow your business. So totally. Yeah. I mean you've got to focus less on you and instead focus on what it is that you want to put out there in terms of what you're serving your audience with.
Anna Jonak: [00:16:43] Yep. I think it's a big way to flip your thinking is to, a lot of people get caught up on putting themselves out there and it being about them and like what are people going to think of me and you know what if I'm not good enough and judgement, judgement, judgement. And I think the big difference and a really good flipping approach is looking at it from the other angle when it's not about you and it's actually about what you're doing this for or you know the people that you're serving. And I've had many conversations in my side of the coaching from a mindset perspective and just saying you know, focus on what conversations you can create, what connection or community you might foster. What if you impacted just one person and enrich their lives? How would that feel? What if you gave someone else permission to be seen by being real and raw? And you know you just brought your personality and people loved it like you give someone else permission to come out and be exactly the same and kind of you know model from you. [Flori says well that's it. It's inspirational, right?] It is inspirational. That's it. What if you make their life easier? What if you create change? What if you impact millions or you know a handful of people? [Flori agrees] It's about the what if in the positive light that you can do instead serving other people. And I think that that's a big thing because we don't approach, I mean we don't like putting ourselves out there, do we? Let's be honest it's not like...
Flori Pyke: [00:17:59] No not like, I mean I love these contacts and we both do. I know we both have recognised, we love the podcast but in terms of putting pictures of ourselves and our families and you know doing lives and what have you. You know what. We don't love it. Neither of us love it but our focus is very much on serving you, our audience. And in order to do that you know, we ourselves are the vehicle in order to deliver that and we want to be real and we want to be authentic and we want to deliver you value. And in order to do that, we do need to put ourselves out there. But the focus for us is exactly as Anna said it's not on us as people, it's how can we serve you and that's where we choose to invest our focus so that we can comfortably put our faces out there you know.
Anna Jonak: [00:18:44] Totally and like with challenge time right now, knowing that you know we'll have a percentage of people that will certainly come into our program, but you know what, not everyone will. There will still be you know a thousand other people that came through into the content and will have their lives impacted in a positive way that will have goals set, will have mindset moments, will have our a-ha moments, quite a connection. And that is what it's all about. And you use that stuff to drive you on your mission and I think that also comes back to in this instance your why because everybody came into business for a reason. So what was the purpose? What were you looking to achieve? What would being successful in your business mean to you and your family? What life would it create? And you know if your current focus is on failure, what do you think is going to happen? Are you actually going to reach that dream? If you focus on your why, if you focus on other people, then that's where it's going to happen and I mean I certainly learned that very early on in my coaching training because you're starting in life coaching training and you don't know what you're doing and you're presented with someone who is having a meltdown about something and you're like oh my god can I do this. What if I say the wrong thing or what if I blah-blah-blah-blah-blah and you make it all about you and it's like well hang on a second, if I'm inwardly focused right now I'm doing nothing for this person. So my focus needs to be right now on this person and serving them to the best of my ability or really being there and being present and listening. So when you can learn to flip with that focus always and you know I'm sure we've had it, when you have moments when everything's going to s**t, flip the focus [Flori agrees] Look for the outlook. Look for the result. Look for the change. Look for everything else. It really is such a powerful tool to change your focus.
Flori Pyke: [00:20:15] Yeah, definitely. One little tidbit I want to add here is just that often time, like anything when you are afraid of doing something, the hardest time is always the first time but then once you can put your face out there the first time it's only going to get easier and easier for you in time. So that is certainly something to take stock of because you know, gosh there's so many examples now of our students who have really you know grab the whole fear element by the balls, thrown it to the wall. And you know like yeah that first time it was really it was really frightening for them. And now they're absolute legends when it comes to Facebook Lives, when it comes to putting themselves out there on socials, you name it. So you know you just got to start somewhere and do it the first time and then it does get easier.
Anna Jonak: [00:21:06] And I think it's something to do with energy. But the energy that you force yourself to do something first time is so exponential. [Flori agrees] Because it's such a big resistance. Once you've got through the initial resistance is actually much easier the following time and the time and time after that. It really is just that first initial "do it" and that's why actually on that note you could go off on a tangent about this forever. Mel Robbins' five-second rule is great for that because basically she does five four three two one. You have an idea, five four three two one and you act. Any longer than that and then that's when the self-doubt kicks in and you can start really thinking you know talk your way out of it. So it's a really powerful tool if you know that there's something that you should do your instincts and naturally actually right. Your instincts are right. We're just so conditioned to doubt and to question. So if you can five four three two one count backwards and take action straight away with you stop thinking kicking in and you've already started the kind of the energy movement so to speak.
Flori Pyke: [00:21:57] I feel like that could be like a weapon also to our detriment. Five four three two one. If we do that every time, we would be running... [both laughing] No I know. I know. I hear you. Sorry I just had to laugh.
Anna Jonak: [00:22:12] I don't think we need to do that. Well I think we did that pretty much like already. But for people who procrastinate or get stuck or kind of like you know. Yeah it would feel like oh my God at this universe what's happening? [both laughing]
STOP THE PEOPLE PLEASING
Flori Pyke: [00:22:19] I know just there's so many ideas always going on between us that I'm like could you imagine if we were 5 4 3 2 1-ing every single day la-la-la-la-la. I feel like an explosion. Anyway, OK, so moving on to habit number three is to stop the people pleasing and to stop being influenced by others. And look I know this is hard. Everybody I think has, I think to some degree, we all have kind of that negative voice in our heads. Well to some degree we all have an element of wanting to please those around us especially the ones who we love. And I think that it's how much you play into it especially if they are a negative force against where you're wanting to move toward. You really need to be conscious of how are you going to stand your ground. How are you going to continue moving forward with this negative force against you? And it really comes down to you giving yourself permission to your right, to the fact that you can do this and you're going to do this. And if you're finding a negative force against you well sit down with that person and have a chat. And oftentimes as we all know I certainly have had these chats in the past. Luckily we're beyond that point now but with hubby, you know when you're starting out and you're not making a lot of money and everyone's sacrificing and everyone's putting in time and energy to make this work but there's not a lot of pay out, it can be a difficult conversation to have but you've got to have it because otherwise it's very difficult to constantly be working uphill against a negative force against someone who is not supporting you essentially.
Anna Jonak: [00:24:08] Totally. I think there's a lot of people that kind of feel guilty about going for it and then when they hear the negative thoughts from partners and friends, they feel even more guilty. And I think that we definitely come from that perspective of just saying well hang on a second this is my life too and I am a mum and I am a wife but I'm also me. And if this is something that lights me up and it fuels my dreams and god dammit I'm going to do it like why should I fold into what everybody else wants. But equally, having those conversations with other people like to say well what about you. What do you want? Is it not something more? And I know that my husband has certainly over time unfolded views on what's important to him and what's not. And for him he's in an ideal job now. It's really working for him. He has completely different aspirations to me but one thing I will say is that on our wedding day, one of the things we did with our vows was we both spoke about supporting each other and loving each other but also respecting and validating each other as individuals and enabling ourselves to follow our own personal pursuits as well because we recognise that whilst we were a force that came together we're also two individuals within that still have values and ideas and dreams. So I think that it's important that we all recognise that and are able as you said to have those conversations with your partner on those things. But I do think it comes from a sense of certainty within that you are worth it and that you're valuable enough to follow and pursue your passions and your dreams and not just be pleasing into everyone else because if you give in to everybody else you will end up very resentful and very regretful later in life when you realise you live your life for everybody else. [Flori agrees] And I've seen some stories in Facebook groups with mums about the fact they gave everything up for their kids and what have you and then yeah the kids grow up and they felt very lost and very lonely because they gave into that. So I think it's yeah, it's really important to give yourself permission. I also think that naturally people are scared of success or people being different and what we are doing is something quite different and you know I've talked a lot about we go out with people and we talk about the fact that we have a business and people literally just think it's a hobby they've got no f***ing idea. And you know they kind of just, they just so play things down and you're just like okay cool. You don't need to know but that that's the way that you look at it. But they don't want to see you standing out and standing up and being different because it makes them feel bad because ultimately a lot of time you know a lot of people take the easy route don't they. They take the easy everyday route that they don't love because actually the thought of challenging the status quo and going through the difficult time and making sacrifices becomes really painful for them and for them it's too painful. We've certainly done all of those things and it's been incredibly painful but we really focused on the end result of where we wanted to go. And we're really frigging seeing the dividends now and absolutely loving it. But it's about realising that people will always be like that. There's a tall poppy syndrome in this country generally but it is literally, it comes down to people's own fears and insecurities around the fact that you highlight for them something within them about what they lack or what they're not doing by your action. It's not about you though. It's about them it's about the lens that they walk around with and I mean quite often as well we've already talked about beliefs but how many people are carrying around negative beliefs as well. And you add those onto to the inadequacy and it's all gonna come flying out right.
Flori Pyke: [00:27:39] Yeah I love that word that you used, "lens". And I think that's such a good metaphor. Because exactly like you know people choose to see other people in a certain light and using a certain lens and if it's not serving you and that is a person who is close to you, you do have to have those conversations however you need to make sure that you're both on the on the same page because you're never, yeah it's going to be very difficult otherwise. But yeah love love that word it's so true.
Anna Jonak: [00:28:09] Yeah you definitely, you know, ideally you need to be able to. You need, you want and need the support of others. Actually on that note whilst I think of that and I've said this before in podcasts and certainly in challenges that you also need to be very careful about the energy you're putting out and putting down because if you're walking round to your partner and you're constantly doubting yourself and your capabilities and you're moaning about when oh I'm working really long hours and I'm not getting anywhere or this is really frustrating me or I'm really scared to invest or I'm really you know. If you put all this kind of lack of confidence and doubt and stuff out there, I mean it's gonna be very hard for someone to back you if you're kind of walking around with that attitude. Like if one of our staff members came to us like that I'd be like what are you doing? Like come on. Turn it around. You need people, your partner your family, if they see you walking around confidently talking about what you're doing, the goals you're setting, what will happen, how it's going to happen, how you gonna make it work, there's gonna be a very different energy that comes back from them because I see a confidence and certainty within you that they're going to be far more comfortable giving back to you because that's what you're putting out. And I think I've said before my husband has never ever doubted me and even on my moments of doubt on myself. The odd occasion I have, you know he's like no just stop. And your husband's been the same with you right?
Flori Pyke: [00:29:27] He has. He has been the same. I think from the outset it was just, which I'm sure you know, it was like at what point. It was more of when's the turning point going to happen. But in terms of doubt it's never ever been there and it's for the same reason as you Anna that I've never given like a window, a fraction of light to enable him to think that because you have always so wholeheartedly believed in the fact that we've got this. And I always remember that chat. Remember when you came to Sydney and we went out for dinner and I was like we've got this. I was like watch out world. That was like three years ago.
Anna Jonak: [00:30:10] Oh my God. I actually do remember that like I was pregnant and we had wine outside and you were like I believe that this is our destiny. It was like this has always been. Yep I remember that conversation. I do. [Flori says do you remember? I'm getting goosebumps] Yeah me too. I do remember that conversation. Yep. And here we are. It's happening. It's a sense of it's frigging happening. It's going to happen. I mean I have people in my husband's side who will always question and I only give a bit of information. The rest is just confidence. It's because I'm like you don't actually understand the business. I mean and I know you were coming from and some of you have great experience and I'll happily take on information and have a conversation but you know all you need to know for me is I've got this. I know you worry about me my friend and I even do that with my mother in law because she freaked out about me having three kids back to back so much. I was like dude don't worry about it. I've got this. So bring your positive energy and remember the lens of the people you're talking to. And a couple of lessons there. And then on to number four.
STOP BREAKING THE PROMISES YOU MAKE TO YOURSELF
Flori Pyke: [00:31:14] Yeah a huge one and that's about not keeping promises that you make to yourself. So yeah. I mean we see this all the time. I'm sure you probably see this all the time as well amongst people around you but also potentially within yourself now and again. You know seeing yourself, you know I'm going to start that tomorrow or I'll put that off or I'll do that next week or you know I'm going to start getting up early next week or what have you and then failing to follow through. And one of the key things here with doing this for yourself is well obviously not only it's not doing you any favours but this really starts to tarnish your confidence because if you can't carry through with the promises that you set for yourself, it's going to definitely put a chip on your confidence and the more that you do this, the more that it's going to diminish your confidence. And that was a huge thing for me as you and I were chatting before you know we kicked this episode off which is so true. Like if you're going to set something out and you say you're going to do it, you got to keep to it. You got to give yourself your word and if you are, you know oftentimes that can be tricky when you're running your own race and you don't have anyone to report to like I think that's been one of our greatest benefits is that basically Anna and I have to be accountable to each other. And so there's no ducking beating around the bush I'll do this tomorrow what have you. When we give our word we keep to our word. But when you are running your own race it can be trickier. It can be trickier to stick to your own word but you've got to see it through. Otherwise you know it is going to affect you and in more ways than one.
Anna Jonak: [00:33:00] Yeah it's cyclical. I think the more that you let yourself down over and over again essentially you got to look at it that with enough repetition that you can start to believe that you're just incapable. You know you start to feel crappy. You start to feel down because you're not following through with anything. And we all wonder like why my confidence diminishes and quite often it's because you're letting yourself down repeatedly. That's why. I mean if you can't keep a promise to yourself, again thinking about the external outlook how much faith can someone externally have in you if you can't even keep your promises if you're like tomorrow I'm going to go for a walk, next week or I'll get into the business course tomorrow or I'll start learning these and blah blah. And then you don't do it. If you don't follow through, you're showing a massive weakness to your partners and the people around you as well because you're just showing that you don't even believe in yourself or back yourself enough to actually keep to what you say. So I think it's a really huge thing to... I mean guys if you can't keep a promise to yourself like [Flori says how is that going to work] how is anything going to work? How are people going to view you and what your kids going to think? This is so important for you to show for yourself again that you value yourself, that you're going to look after yourself. You're going to do what you say you going to do. And I think having a big picture vision having goals and a why and all these things will really help you to keep making promises and making things happen because you have a clear focus and that's certainly why goal setting is so important because you do have structure and accountability that you can create but you still need to take the action. But the last thing you want to do is basically have your confidence knocked because of your own poor decision making and because you're constantly letting yourself off the hook probably because of some kind of fear which again this is the thing you need to address. So please please please, this year, don't make and break promises to yourself. Value yourself. Show people that you're worthy. If you say something for yourself or for anyone else you are going to follow through and basically see it through. Achieve it. Every time you make a small achievement, you do something you're going to feel confident, you're going to feel better, you're going to put that back out or it compounds that trust, and certainty is going to grow within. And other people around you are just going to kind of see that energy growing as well.
Flori Pyke: [00:35:05] Totally. I mean it goes back to that word that you used to describe it which is so true. It's cyclical. So whether you're doing, you're breaking the promises that's going to serve you in a negative way and it's going to continue to spiral down. Whereas if you're seeing those promises through it's going to build your confidence. You're going to keep on that positive train and keep moving forward. So cyclical is such a key lesson out of this whole confidence and keeping your word to here to yourself essentially. OK. So those were basically some of the habits that we want you to wave goodbye to for 2018. See you later. And as we wrap things up, we basically want to leave you with a few thoughts around the person that you do want to be in your business this 2019 and the kinds of habits that you do want to rock instead. So by that you know what kind of habits is the woman that you want to be in business kicking goals. What are you gonna rock? Where is your focus going to be? How are you going to approach fear? How are you going to deal with others around you? How will you make decisions? And how will you hold yourself accountable?
Anna Jonak: [00:36:06] Yeah. Start thinking. This is the time. The choices that you make to create change. OK and you said it right on the beginning. You know I love the word choice. But we do. We all have a choice about how we act, what we do, what we think. And these are the key moments when you get to draw a line in the sand right now about some of the bad habits that been plaguing you and making a big decision around the kind of person that you want to be and the results that you want to get and realising that they're all interlinked, lady. OK. So as we finish up let's not forget you can find show notes and all of this content all over again at theelevatory.com/podcast. And also if you love this episode we would love it if you would share it or review because I love it. I've said this before. I love it. It's our student liaison I'll blame her. She says it, reviews make the world go round. Now in all seriousness though we do really want to share our tips and tools and insights and quirky personalities with as many women as we can out there to inspire them onwards. Because we are so privileged to be on the journey that we're on to get to work with the people we do. And I guess we want to see everybody else out there reach their true capabilities because we totally believe it's possible.
Flori Pyke: [00:37:15] Yeah I totally agree. It goes back to that whole cyclical element. You know the more we can get it out there, the more women we can impact and the more businesses that... Yeah we can have a positive influence on which is really exciting. OK. So parting thought for today and that is, that we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit. And that is from Aristotle.
Anna Jonak: [00:37:43] Boom! Love it. Totally to the point. So who are you gonna be? What are you going to be you know be repeatedly doing in 2019 to get results? Start throwing some power words results and excellence. All right. OK. And remember another power word to take with you is bravery. And remember be brave in your business.
HOW TO CONNECT WITH ANNA AND FLORI
Business School: www.theelevatory.com
Phone: 1300 634 230
HOW DID WE DO?
We're incredibly excited to be able to share our business insights via the Raising Her Game Podcast. We aim to provide you the very best content each week to help you elevate your business game so you can take your life and business to the next level. We'll tackle the topics that will get you increasing your productivity, mastering your mindset and strategising like a marketer. If you're enjoying the show, you can help spread the love and pay it forward by leaving a review. It will make it easier for other female entrepreneurs in business like you, to find us and kick their own goals.