You're not alone. I brick it. Richard Branson bricks it. Your fave pop idol bricks it. All of us feel fear. Here's 7 tips to beat those old unconscious responses.
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Welcome to Episode 8 of The Elevatory podcast. I'm Anna Jonak, founder of The Elevatory. So today I'm going to take you through the seven steps to conquering your fears. Because all too often I see fear as being a huge roadblock that stands in the way of my clients creating the businesses that they want and getting the successful outcomes that they ultimately deserve.
So I thought today, I would deliver you guys some kickass life coaching tools, so that you can control your fears and begin to take action regardless of all those butterflies, so that you are in control of it, rather than it controlling you. Okay, no more playing small in your life, in business, it is time to kick fear to the curb and be in control.
But before I dive into the meat of my seven steps, first I want to share with you some things that I think you need to know and understand about fear first. Okay, so it happens to all of us. You are not alone. I brick it. Richard Branson bricks it. Your favourite pop idol bricks it. Your idol on Instagram, that is, you know, five years where five years down the track of where you want to be. All of us feel fear, okay, it is based on our bodies old flight, fight or freeze response, which is triggered in the face of danger. But I want you to notice the word I'm using the word old, because it is an old unconscious response that was useful when we were hunters and gatherers and we needed to run away from that big bear, or, you know, fight if we were being attacked by something or freeze and hide behind a tree if we're faced with a threat. But what you need to know now is that obviously, we've evolved as a species, we're not going through any of those things. We're not under the same threats, but our brains and automatic responses are still running on this. Old systems still kick in when you know, in certain situations.
However, the situations and the response is not really appropriate anymore. Because today, our fear generally tends to be activated based on imagined threats, all right. Not real danger, you're not actually going to be hit by a car in that moment, you're not standing in the middle of the road. In many cases, the things that we're most scared about that hold us back, are based on imagined threats that haven't happened and may never happen. You know what I'm talking about when your brain starts going with all these negative thoughts? What if I fail? What if I invest and I don't make my money back? What if my husband loses his job? What if? What if, what if what if the list goes on, there's always a reason. But it's all imagined. We don't know it's ever going to happen, it may not happen. And if you actually follow the steps I talked about, the chances are it probably won't happen. But that's where we live. And that is what stops us from, you know, moving forward. So it hasn't happened probably not going to happen. Most of us live here. We don't want to live here though.
Something else I want to share with you is that fear is not going to go away as you pursue the journey as an entrepreneur, because the journey of an entrepreneur is an extraordinary life. I love the word extraordinary. Because ultimately, that's what we are. We are not doing what the the mainstay of people are doing. We're not in the daily grind, we are going against the grain. I mean, come on. It's not meant to be easy. If it was everybody would be doing it and they're not. You need to grow and evolve, which means discomfort and uncertainty, you know is going to be part and parcel of this. Hello fear at every step. Like you know, there's a lot of change and the highs and lows. I'm sure you've all seen those diagrams of watching the roller coaster ride, it's not going to be roses all the time. Okay.
And lastly and the most important thing I guess I want to get across is that the difference between those that are successful and those that are not, is not whether they feel fear or not, because we've already established that we all feel it, but it's essentially in how they manage the fear that they have, and how they're able to move through it and move forward. And that's where I want to focus now. So giving you some cool kickass steps to conquering your fears so that you can progress.
"The difference between those that are successful and those that are not, is not whether they feel fear or not, but it's in how they manage the fear that they have, and how they're able to move through it and move forward."
1. Be honest and dig deep
Alright, so here we go. Number one. First of all, I think it's super important that we start to be honest with ourselves and dig deep when we do find that we are in a state of fear, or indeed, when you're having negative feelings and emotions actually look to see what's underneath it because it's normally driven by fear. So if you're finding yourself procrastinating, you're avoiding something. You're blaming other people for your results. You're just acting emotionally you're angry, you're all over the place. Maybe you're avoiding doing something, you're getting stuck on the hamster wheel of perfection, you've got to get this right. Or maybe you're saying things like 'when the time is right I'll', 'when x happens I'll', 'I'll do it tomorrow because'. You know, all of this stuff is really unproductive behaviour. And if you're going around in circles in these feelings, emotions and behaviours, I would ask you to stop and ask yourself, fear is probably in the driving seat right now, what's going on? What is it really about? What are you really avoiding? And why? What is going on? What is it that you might be scared of?
It might be that you've got beliefs and belief systems working that are not supporting you. Now, they could be in a different lots of different tiers, I'm just going to give you a few examples now. One might be around self, self belief, 'I don't believe I can do this', 'I'm not good enough'. 'I was always lazy at school'. 'I wasn't capable.' Maybe you have a fear of success. You know, 'if I succeed, I'm never gonna be home for my kids', 'my dad worked really long hours, he was never home, I don't want that for my family'. Maybe you've got money issues, somebody in your family used to gamble, or you were really poor, and everyone else around you who did have money, we're just a-holes. It happens, guys. Tribal family beliefs might be pulling you around, you know, making you feel bad. You're looking at the fact that your mum stayed at home full time, she was a full time stay at home mum and seemed to love it. Therefore, you probably should, too, right? Why are you doing this? Why aren't you there for your kids all the time, all of these things, you might have multiple beliefs like this wandering around. And it's no wonder then that we're going to feel all these negative emotions and being pulled in lots of different directions and not able to kind of centre ourselves and go forward the way that we want.
So if you're feeling these unproductive behaviours, it's important to stop, slow down, and look for the origin of any beliefs that you're carrying around with you. Because beliefs aren't set in stone. They're generally formed in the early years of our lives that developed when we're younger, and generally in response to our environment in order to cope, okay. An example might be if your dad did have a gambling problem, you may now be a person who hates to spend money, you hate risk, okay? But you're in a position when you're in a business, and you want to grow, and you need to take risk, but you feel trapped, because the fear is so great. But the reality is, you're probably walking around with a 7 year old's strategy, who was coping, then, you know, you learn that actually, because of the things that you saw that not to take risks was the safest thing. But the reality is, if your business is not surviving now, it's not the safest thing. Does that make sense? You can invest in your business, you can create the change that you want. But you've got this strategy in place that is all about protection. And we need to tackle that, all right.
So really go to town on the beliefs that you have and break them down and look at reworking them so that they can support you. Because in the scenario I've given you, this person who is fearful of taking risk, the risk is actually now the lack of taking risk is creating a problem in their business. And if you can start looking at things like I'm not my father, the experiences that I have mean I'm sensitive to risk, and I can use that as a sense check. I can seek advice, I can get support, I can put KPIs in place, I can make this an you know, I can make this investment, I will make this investment a success.
All of that language, as you can see, so much more positive. And as you see, when I talk through the points, you're seeing that you're changing your focus on this as well. So have a think about what's in the driving seat right now and start to tackle it and pick it apart and see what whether it's something that you really should allow to drive you, especially if it is impacting where you want to be.
2. Do it anyway
Okay, point number two, do it anyway. Okay, even if you feel scared, take the risk, take the jump. If you don't, you're never going to know, right? By taking action. What's more, you're going to build new reference points to support your new belief and the direction that you want to go in. If you did take a risk and you actually made money, you've now got a reference point to say, actually, you know what, sometimes risks really pay off, especially, you know, they're considered risks, but it really paid off. Okay, action, constant action, even though you're thinking hasn't really caught up yet is going to help you rewire your brain and see that new options and possibilities are out there. It's not just what you think, right now, in your fear state, actually, risk can be great, risk can come with amazing rewards. All right, you're only going to know that if you do it anyway.
3. Courage is waiting
Number three, realise that courage is there waiting for you, every day whenever you need it, alright. The mistake that we all make is that we think that we're suddenly going to become courageous so that we can take that action. But courage only turns up when you take action. So if you're waiting for courage, it's never gonna arrive. Okay? You need to take the first step and you're going to find that in you taking that first step, there's that drive within you that it's like, right, we're here, we've got to keep moving. All right. So go with courage, take a step. They're going to be it's going to be right there waiting for you.
"Courage is there waiting for you, every day whenever you need it. The mistake that we all make is that we think that we're suddenly going to become courageous so that we can take that action. But courage only turns up when you take action."
4. Give fear a meaning that SUPPORTS you
Okay, and here's the big one number four. Give fear a meaning that supports you. Okay, you can choose what you make fear mean. Okay, you can choose the fear to be something as scary, desperate, lead you down a path of helplessness, paralysis, oh my god, panic. Or you can see fear as powerful as the precipice of change of growth, excitement, action. Like, I honestly feel that if I'm not scared, then I'm not doing, I'm not growing, I'm not green and growing. If I'm constantly just feeling safe, and everything I'm doing it means I'm probably not taking risks. And I should be taking risks so that I can take things to the next level or I can learn some more. I always love the adage that I learned in my coaching school using years ago, you're either green and growing or ripe and rotting. And ripe and rotting, for me is where you were you stay in a place of safety, because of fear. But over time, staying there makes you feel nervous, anxious, unsettled, uncomfortable, and actually is not a nice place to be. Whereas green and growing is yeah, it's it's risky. It's scary, but it's full of adventure and excitement. So choose, you know, choose how you look at this. Fear can be seen as scary, or it can be seen as on the path to greatness. Think about the time you jumped out of a plane, the time you got married, the time when you had those butterflies, and you're like, oh my god, oh my oh my god. But on the other side, how did you feel? Elation, amazing, you'd grown, you'd advanced. Alright. Fear can be something wonderful. It can mean incredible things.
5. What you focus on expands
Number five, following on from that, focus on what you want to happen. All right, for like what you focus on, expands. So if you're focusing on fear being negative, oh my god, if I do this, then X, Y, Zed, those things are way more likely to happen. Because you're so focused on the negative, that you're not going to see all of the great stuff around you that can take you in a different direction. Whereas the opposite applies. If you focus on what you want to happen, and you pour your energy into it, then what do you think's gonna happen, it's a pretty good chance, you're gonna get where you want to go. Because your focus is solely on getting the outcome.
I remember one of the biggest investments we made, I had just had a new baby. Number three, and it was a huge investment. I think it's the sum of like, $25,000, I had literally no savings left. If I was to make this investment, I had a new baby. And my husband was FIFO. It was big risk. But you know what, I knew that I needed to do it to get to the next level. And we made the investment. And it was such a big step that oh my god, my focus was on making that return. It was on making whatever I learned and throwing myself into it completely wholeheartedly. And boy, did I And boy, did it pay off. All right.
6. Visualise the gifts that risk brings
Number six, see the gifts that risk brings. Okay, so think about it, where are you going to be if you do this thing? If you just get on with it? If you take the leap? What's going to happen? How's it gonna help you? How's it gonna help your business? How will it help your family? What opportunities will it open up for you or afford you in months or years to come? What will it do to your confidence? What will it enable for you in terms of community? What value is for you in all of these amazing outcomes? Can you weigh up the value in terms of emotional support and advancement versus the actual physical cost of something? All right, look for the gifts, look for the positive outcomes.
7. Visualise the implications of not taking action
And then alongside that, check out the flip side number seven. All right, think about the implications of not taking action of staying safe of being in that place of ripe and rotting. What does that mean? Will you still be in the same place in six months? Will your business have gone backwards? What will life look like? How are you going to feel in yourself? How is your confidence going to be with that self doubt have grown even further? What is happening in your business? Because I can guarantee you, I'm sure you all know this, we often regret the chances we didn't take not the ones that we did. All right.
So in a nutshell, you got to feel the fear and do it anyway. Break down the negative beliefs. Okay. Find new beliefs and build them in act as if which means do it anyway. Okay, doing is going to help you kind of build that muscle and build those reference points. You're going to scuff your knees you're going to fall over, know that you're going to mess up. It's going to be messy, but you're going to keep going anyway. But you're going to be green and growing. And you're going to be working towards that extraordinary life that you deserve. You can, you will, you've got this.
Oh, my gosh. I hope this inspires you guys to just take the leap and trust in yourself. You're amazing, you're extraordinary. You're doing something incredible. So just keep on keeping and push through and remember that you are in charge of fear it is not in charge of you.
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