Flori chats to fitness expert Jay Kali about the impact that health and exercise can have on your mindset.
80% of your success hinges on your mindset - on your ability to back yourself and to keep on keepin' on even when the going gets tough. (Because it WILL get tough).
This is why in this week's episode, I talk to Jay Kali - a renowned strength architect who's expertise is to build strong, motivated and empowered women. We explore how mindset and fitness is so interwoven... and how "...the easiest way to your mind is through your body."
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TUNE IN TO HEAR ABOUT
- How health and exercise can impact your mindset
- Tips to start to incorporate fitness into your daily routine so you can reap body health & mindset benefits
- What is and how to do “the bathroom workout”
- Jay’s top time-management tips
Jay, aka The Strength Architect loves training women. The number 1 reason is because growing up with his single mother who struggled with her weight, self-esteem and confidence in everything she did. He never learned the basics of exercise, nutrition, motivation or about having a positive mindset. As Jay got older, he realised that he never wanted any other mother to go through what his mum went through. He discovered how vital mums are and how they are the backbones of family. So if he can help mums, he can help generations of families!
CONNECT WITH JAY
Flori Pyke: [00:00:43] So welcome to Episode 28 of the Raising Her Game podcast. We are Anna and Flori, the queens of small business and we deliver female entrepreneurs both the business and mindset tools needed to start, grow and scale your small business for success. Now today, it's just myself, Flori, handling the reins and I am super excited for today's podcast episode because it ties in with a huge personal passion of mine which is fitness. And it not only touches on fitness but, extra gravy, we're touching on mindset as well which is a huge focal point of ours over here at The Elevatory as a lot of you ladies know. So, who better to help shed some light on how huge these two topics are than Jay Kali who is my guest today and he is a strength architect who helps build strong, motivated and empowered women and amongst his lengthy list of accolades, Jay's a two-time published author and Amazon best seller, owner of numerous gyms, Iraq war veteran and a regular contributor to Australia's Women's Health and Fitness magazine. So Jay, huge welcome to you today. I'm so excited to have you on board on the Raising Her Game podcast.
Jay Kali: [00:02:16] Well, how about good morning from over here in Cancun, Flori, because (both laughing), completely different side of the world but I am pumped to be here, I'm excited. And, I mean what a great intro that is. Thank you.
Flori Pyke: [00:02:28] Well, you made it pretty easy when I asked you to send through your bio. And it was like exploding with incredible accolades and achievements. I had to really like pick and choose. There were so many. So yeah. Like props to you (both laughing).
Jay Kali: [00:03:02] Very grateful! Maybe sometimes like the wrong place at the wrong time but you know what it's worked out always really good in my favour, Flori.
Flori Pyke: [00:03:11] Yeah. No. It was very impressive to say the least (laughing). So look, I thought we could start out by you kind of sharing with us a little bit more around what you do and your niche because obviously, you know it's one thing to be a fitness trainer, so to speak, but it's quite another to be what you call yourself, a strength architect, which as I understand is someone who focuses on more than just fitness but goes beyond this to cover your mindset. (Jay agrees) And then you focus on women. So yeah. Can you tell us a little bit more around how you really started to hone in on this niche, because it is quite specific you know.
Jay Kali: [00:03:56] Yes, absolutely. You know and it's kind of funny Flori, because I think it's a great question. I first got into it, I was like man.. especially with fitness so whenever I came down to Cancun the first time and I opened my two gyms, it was kind of nice because they're brick and mortar, you're new, it's different. People just want to come, I mean the first time I, both of those businesses I opened they're both in the black within the first month because we just knew. It was different. I mean it's unheard of, especially in the fitness industry, it's unheard of but we pulled that off, right. And then when I moved 100 percent online, now that was a huge transition for me because I was no longer like the new guy, I'm competing this whole you know the Pacific Ocean of people now. Right. It's huge online. And so I was actually working with a really good mentor and he's like man we got to figure out like why do you do what you do. You know, you had to really dig into like what do you get out of actually training these people, like what's so motivating? What's so fun for you? The only thing I could think back then was, because I had to do a lot of soul searching in that point, I was like man I don't know why I'm motivated, why I like seeing the changes in people. But something has to be the reason. And so I did some soul searching. I came back and I had this memory kept on replaying in my mind, I was I don't know I'm 9, 10 years old I was pretty young, I would hear my mum yell at me like 'Jay come over here' and I'm like thinking something's up and freak out. So I ran into her room and then I see my mum crying and struggling laying flat on her back trying to button her pants. You know and so like just helping her button her own pants and seeing how much she struggled with her weight, her self-confidence, and a lot of her issues even when I was growing up, it just tore right into me and it was something that I realised you know such when I came out of Iraq how much fitness helped me for my mental state, for my physical state, all that and so I realised that I can turn that over and I can help more women, more mums who are struggling because I never grew up with the exercise and education and the fitness and nutrition. I never grew up with that, my mum worked you know 60 plus hours a week. My parents were divorced twice by the time I was six. I mean, I was raised by a mum you know like it was just madness. (Flori agrees) So if I can help women and help mums specifically help learn that stuff that you know is just another tool in their toolbox. They have, they don't have to worry about it anymore then they're helping their parents because most mums are now and they're able to pass on them that knowledge and those tools down to their kids. So I realised just affecting one person I can affect generations of people. They can affect their grand-kids, their own kids and even their own parents. So it's amazing right now in where we're at.
Flori Pyke: [00:06:30] Yeah. Wow that's pretty inspirational. It's so true what you're saying. Like I can totally see how it is a domino effect because like you said I mean a mum feeds her kids and then her kids learn you know what is the right food and the wrong food to eat. And then they pass it on to their kids and you're absolutely right. I can totally identify with what you're saying. So Jay how long have you been focusing in on women specifically and you know really tying in the focal points of like mindset with fitness? How long has this been your niche for?
Jay Kali: [00:07:08] Oh for sure. Like I said probably about 6 years ago I moved down here so I've been in the fitness game I guess you can say for over six years now. But specifically focusing on women and in all my training I've always used mindset that was something that I learned you know, one of my mentors taught me the easiest way to your mind is through your body. If I can help change your body, I can help change your mind. You know they're so connected and are so correlated. It's crazy. And so the mindset's always been a part of my coaching. But whenever I focused about over a little bit over three years ago, whenever I moved everything online and I started focusing specifically on women for this issue.
Flori Pyke: [00:07:46] Yeah. Right. OK. OK. Love it. And yeah, I mean I think you know when we originally spoke I mentioned to you, I used to run varsity in the U.S. for a track team. I had a full ride to university.
Jay Kali: [00:08:02] It's so awesome to me. I don't know. I think it's so cool. That's super cool.
Flori Pyke: [00:08:03] It's probably something a lot of people don't know because I mean it's rewinding, God, I don't even know how many years ago now. But you know, really, when we were introduced and what you did and where and what you do really resonated with me because I remember so so vividly like getting up at 430 in the morning I was in North Dakota and it was like minus 30 degrees Celsius. And like we had to go train outdoors or do like ice baths or you know. And it was just so hectic. And I still remember how the fundamental mindset was to kind of power me through. So when I came across you I was like oh my gosh, this is so great because I couldn't agree more. I think that fitness and mindset are so, they come hand in hand so much and they're so correlated. And I guess like on that note I would love to kind of understand like what's your take on that. Like do you think that fitness helps foster a more positive mindset or vice versa or how do you see that this works basically?
Jay Kali: [00:09:16] Whooo! That's a great question. Yeah I mean once again I think I go back to reiterating what my mentor said and he said the easiest way to your mind is through your body. So you know whenever I can get you sweating and smiling and I can build that self-confidence in you right physically because you're seeing yourself grow and you're seeing yourself improve which isn't something that we always get to see in fitness. You know it's usually let's play the 20 minute video and let's follow along OK. OK well you did that today or it's OK, well let me go jump on the treadmill, I got to go do 60 minutes of running. You know and it's never, it's just in this most comfortable state. Now I wonder why aren't we seeing any results. You're no longer challenging yourself. (Flori agrees) And so then you get demotivated because guess what, you stop seeing results and it's just almost like a reverse tumble at that point. And so whenever you can incorporate ways to say look, we did this last month, we did this two weeks ago and you only got 10. Now you got 15. That builds this internal motivation and this intrinsic motivation as what they call it. And that just makes you so much stronger in yourself and that exudes into everything that comes out and everybody and everything you do, that could be business, that could be communications, that can be interactions, that could be with your family, that can be with your spouse. I mean it's just one thing. Yes one thing, fitness and putting yourself first and doing a little bit of self-care.
Flori Pyke: [00:10:36] Yeah. Now I can totally see that. I think I'm like at the moment like I told you I'm heavily pregnant so taking myself for like a walk is a big feat. But you know when I'm not pregnant I do like plyometrics or I do like timed sprint hills, hill sprints I mean or what have you and it's so funny what you're saying like I couldn't agree more. I find that when I challenge myself and I beat a record or what have you like I feel so strong that day. And I find that it really carries through to my attitude and my disposition particularly when it comes to you know our work over here at The Elevatory and with our students and our goals and yeah I could not agree more, like when you start kind of jumping over those hurdles that you set yourself in achieving those goals it does really translate to all aspects of your life.
Jay Kali: [00:11:33] Well I mean you know like I tell to my students I mean some people struggle with time right. And so I try to recommend, let's try to move that work out at the beginning of the day. Guess what. That's one of the hardest things that you have to do. What you get done and even if it's 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40, whatever it is, whatever the time it is, what you get done, you just look at yourself and you say I did the hardest thing of my day, what else can stop me. And so those sales calls, those meetings, anything else you have to do in your day. And I'm using this as more of a business side because that's your listeners, (Flori agrees) but it could be taken into anything right even if you're you know a corporate executive going in and you have to fire somebody for that day. Having that confidence that you know what, I just had a great gym session, I don't want to do this but it takes you in there and it takes that much motivation and that much self-worth into those situations I guess you should say.
Flori Pyke: [00:12:20] Yeah I know. Absolutely. And so I guess you know for our listeners, because I think some of us are intrinsically motivated and their fitness just like runs through our blood. And for some of us, it's a challenge you know to find the motivation to put in the effort to make the time like you just said. And it's not something that comes naturally. So for our listeners, how can someone like that who you know fitness is maybe not a part of their everyday, but how can they go about integrating even just a little bit of fitness into their daily routines so that they can start reaping you know some of these, well, mindset benefits but also like just you know endorphins which also links up with the mindset because there's so much that goes on, I think beyond, like there's chemical reactions happening throughout your body when (Jay agrees) you know, exactly, and you know and that is all completely linked to your mindset, to your state of well-being everything. So for our listeners Yeah. Like do you have any tips on how do they even start? How do they do this if they don't go to the gym regularly or they don't walk regularly? How can they start to do this?
Jay Kali: [00:13:41] Well I mean Flori you guys might get mad at me if I tell you how easy it is. I mean I don't know, once again, back to mentors, I had someone tell me what's easy to do is easy not to do. So keep that in mind also. You know a lot of people automatically write what I'm about to tell you off is it's too easy. And it is easy. But - we're just trying to get started right. We're trying to get this going. So I love the walks. I love the walks. I think it's a great way to start if you're not doing anything at all. And I think it's one of the easiest ways to just get started, you know, go take a couple block laps around the block. Go take, wake up in the morning you know drink your cup of coffee or tea, take three or four laps around your block and tell me that you don't feel somewhat better and you're ready to start your day more than anything else you have in the past month. (Flori agrees) It's just crazy how much it works. Now the other one, while your listeners are going to hate me, (both laughing) is what I call the bathroom workout. So how many times do we go to the bathroom a day roughly? Five times?
THE BATHROOM WORKOUT
Flori Pyke: [00:14:38] Well at the moment (laughing)
Jay Kali: [00:14:40] You go a lot more being pregnant
Flori Pyke:[00:14:42] given I'm 8 months pregnant I must be peeing every five minutes (both laughing).
Jay Kali: [00:14:49] Yeah this is obviously not for the pregnant ladies out there. So this is more they say even if you say at work right, you know you go to the bathroom at least five times at work during a normal day, hypothetically, especially if your drinking water. So every time you go to the bathroom, do this little workout for me. Once you get finished, do 10 squats to the toilet, just touch stand, touch stand then do ten of those and then go over to the sink or the wall depending on, or like the sink, basin, or whatever's strong and do five little modified push ups right there from the sink. So ten squats, five push ups. You go to the bathroom five times a day, there'd be 50 squats, 25 push ups at the end of five days because we only do it for the week right. Yeah. What is it. Two hundred and fifty squats and 125 push ups in just one week. Now tell me what do we have in a month? And so it's just like compound interest. (Flori agrees) They build up. So even if you say Okay we'll use the bathroom okay then we do these 10 little potty squats, let me do these five little push ups, wash my hands. I'm out. I do that five times. I'm telling you those little bits will add up to a lot and you will build it and you will build it and see a difference I guarantee you.
Flori Pyke: [00:16:05] Yeah. I couldn't agree more. Well, I haven't heard of the bathroom workout before (both laughing) But I love that approach. And your point around incremental build up like you're so right. I think it's all about like that extra, you know my husband used to be a professional athlete. And he was always talking about like you know that extra 5 percent that you put in to the gym or like you know the extra 10 minutes that you spend kicking the ball through the goals or whatever like all those little incremental things are what enable you to be like extraordinary and that they build and they're at your edge basically. So I so agree with that comment around like compound interest. It all adds up. Right.
Jay Kali: [00:17:00] It all adds up you know and that's kind of the other thing like what most people especially mums, especially small business owners are trying to get to the entrepreneurial world but always complain about energy. I don't have energy, I'm always tired, I'm so tired. You know it's crazy. Our body needs stress. It needs it. As much as we don't think it does as much as we try to say, oh stress is bad, your body is never going to grow if it doesn't get stressed (Flori agrees). Your body is never going to adapt. And so as much as a paradox as it is, if you expend energy on fitness building yourself up, your energy levels raise because your body is getting used to that stress.
Flori Pyke: [00:17:37] Yeah it's so right what you're saying and yeah I think it's so easy to make excuses like you said you know you're so tired, this and the other but you gotta dig deep and just you know I recently recorded a podcast episode with someone else and one of her great kind of nuggets of advice was just to take even one step forward every day when it comes to your business. And I think that this is the complete same approach. Like just you know do one thing a day that's going to help you with your fitness. And like you said Jay whether that is you know going for a walk around the block a few times or you know your bathroom workout or whatever it all adds up right.
Jay Kali: [00:18:23] Absolutely. You know have you heard the Japanese principle of Kaizen. You've heard the Kaizen principle, right?
Flori Pyke: [00:18:27] Yeah I have. But can you explain it a little bit to our listeners?
Jay Kali: [00:18:32] Well it reminds me just like what your last guest just said. Take one step forward or get one percent better. I told my students you know the Kaizen principle, it's a Japanese terminology that they use and I think it is actually used for cars initially (Flori agrees). Now, we're using it for more personal reasons but it's just get 1 percent better today, 1 percent. So I don't limit it to just fitness though. So I think just improve yourself one percent better today, that could be in meditation, that could be stretching, and that could be taking that walk, that could be making that extra sales call, whatever it is. Put yourself in one direction at least one percent better for that day. And within a year you're 365 percent better.
Flori Pyke: [00:19:17] Yeah. You know, I totally agree. You know as we're talking about this one thing that really springs to mind, I was chatting with a friend a while back and he's a CEO of an insurance company and he was telling me how he did this like 10 day, like it's more than a marathon I don't know how many kilometres it is like through the Sahara Desert, basically, it's like this world renowned race. Basically I don't remember the name of it.
Jay Kali: [00:19:44] I have another friend who just went through it also. She was crazy (Flori agrees). They're wild. They’re face was all wrapped up with masks and stuff and they’re running through the desert. Yeah it's insane to me.
Flori Pyke: [00:19:53] It's so insane. But you know what was really interesting? So I asked him about, I was like well you know it must have been such an interesting experience I said and I was like did you do it on your own or with a friend. He said no I trained on my own. And he said what was really interesting which I mean as we speak about all these things. It totally stacks up. He said what was really interesting is that, like 99 percent of the people who partake in this are super high achievers because there are people who, you know, they set the bar for themselves are constantly trying to be better, be it in their fitness which then carries through to their mindset which then carries through to their business. Because it's all correlated right (Jay agrees). And I found that quite like it's totally true. But really when you say and you think about it like I know that there's been so many studies for instance done on like really successful entrepreneurs or CEOs and like 99 percent of the time there are people who are really health conscious and they're really fit as well because it goes back to that whole link where you know it's like your fitness is so tied in with your mindset and your like ability to push through boundaries and get up and back yourself. And it's also interlinked.
Jay Kali: [00:21:14] It is. You know I think it's funny that whenever you bring that up, everybody, it's a very common phrase or at least it was until last year. YOLO (Flori agrees). And I'm like YOLO like and I love what it stands for. But you hear people using it as almost to the extreme. You're always like well YOLO I'm going to jump off this cliff and YOLO I'm just going to take another shot or whatever and you're like, hold on, why not YOLO and into let me see how long I can live. You know I went through some very traumatic stuff as they say you know being in Iraq or being in Egypt and even moving to a country that I don't even know the language. You know there's a lot of steps to go through. But if you don't challenge yourself and push yourself you're never going to find out what's possible.
Flori Pyke: [00:22:01] Yeah. Now I completely agree and so I guess for our listeners you know, Jay you know that we, our listeners, a lot of them our mums so for them you know we have a very busy juggle between kids and the house and hubby and business etc. as I'm sure you've come to be, you know, are well acquainted with given the niche that you focus on, so how do you like what do you suggest to your mum audience in terms of how do you fit the time in? Say you've suggested the bathroom workout, otherwise you're saying like should we kind of try and squeeze this in first thing in the morning. Yeah. What are your top tips here to kind of managing to fit it all in?
JAY KALI ON TIME MANAGEMENT FOR MUMS
Jay Kali: [00:22:47] Well I mean honestly the first one I would, this isn't like a plug by any means, get a coach. If it's really this stressful and problem solving for you to having these many issues, just find a coach because guess what, that's what I help my students with. This is one less thing they have to worry about. You know I have corporate execs, I got emergency veterinarians and people like that who, they just have too much stuff going on in their lives to say okay well what do I need to go into the gym today to do. And so having a plan, having someone to actually guide, you say okay well that's your goal, I'm going to get you to your goal and we just tell you follow what I do and we're going to get there. It's almost like a plug and play type of thing. But if you don't want to spend the money for a coach, or don't have the, you're going to find the little holes that they can fit in because like for me like I don't force everybody into my training. I can't say well yeah you have to do this hour you have to… No. That's impossible. So I build programs to fit their schedules and that's what any good coach should do. So you know I'm saying they should be able to manipulate the program for you as the individual, could be an injury, it could be your time, what not. But if you are struggling, you don't want to coach on your own. I do like the morning because you don't have that issue with the willpower and being tired by the end of the day because we all know willpower wins. So if you can knock that little workout in at the very beginning of your day, I think it's awesome. You know and even if it's 10, 20, 30 minutes like I said how long is it going to take you to do five laps around the block? (Flori agrees) Probably, not that long. It's you know, you getting the shoes on, you putting them on. You know, sleep in your walking gear or sleep in your running gear, put your shoes on right next to the bed. There's little tricks to help boost that motivation to get you out there to go do it. Other thing, I highly recommend people with, you know, when it comes to self-care and it comes to you taking care yourself, sometimes you have to block that out on your calendar (Flori agrees), because no one's going to give you that, there's no one as much as we want to. Guess what. There's no one looking out for me. I mean yes sure I have my spouse but my spouse isn't gonna say Jay you need to stop and you need to go work out right now. No she's not going to say that. Whenever I get into entrepreneurial mind it's like well do I really want to work out or would I rather go make money so I know that struggle. So it's a matter of once again finding what fits you knowing that hey this 30 minutes today at lunch every day is my time I'm going to turn off my phone and turn off everything else. I'm just gonna get what I can get in these 30 minutes and then I'm out because I had to go do more work. And to say that there's not 30 minutes in a day or not 20 minutes in the day is the same as someone saying there's not you know five or 10 minutes to meditate (Flori agrees). And I think that once we push ourselves to the back burner like most of us do, that's when we start having these feelings of inadequacy, feelings of anxiousness, because guess what, we're not first anymore and as selfish as that might sound, as selfish that might sound there's nothing that I can do for anybody else if I'm struggling and I'm in pain. Yeah I had to be the best version of myself in order to pull anybody else up from their position. And that could be in business, that could be in coaching, that could be in my family life, you know like, if my mum came to me and started talking to me about I need to eat healthier, I'm like oh whoa hold on, you know you're going to take the information where it's going to come from. And you got to remember that, you know, you gotta, well you know, is it more important to make money or is it more important for me to put my self-care first (Flori agrees). You know, because it at the end of the day, back to YOLO, You Only Live Once. That's what I was trying to get to my point. You know why not try to live as long as you can. You only live once. So like I say I went through those issues you know. I didn't even think I'm going to live past 30 and so since I have I'm now 33 now, my goal is to hit 100. Now that might sound crazy but why not. I mean we have medical advances in society, we have you know, tons of, you know, I'm constantly doing fitness, I'm constantly taking care of myself. It's not asinine to believe that I can live past 100. We get people living until 111 now, but how many of us automatically resign like oop I'm 45. Oh I'm fit. My dad passed at 55 years old. I'm trying to double his life. You know that's insane. I mean you know like my family has bad bad genetic markers on both sides (Flori agrees). And I was like, what keeps you motivated? What keeps you into this? I want to live longer like I want to. You know I've seen my grandma have issues with diabetes and lose limbs and have heart attacks. I’ve seen my dad stroke out like I don't want that for nobody (Flori agrees). Nobody.
Flori Pyke: [00:27:07] Yeah I know. Definitely. And so Jay like you know obviously, it's very evident that you have an incredible sense of intrinsic motivation. I mean this is your passion it's what you do and you empower other people to do this. But for some of your clients and your students for instance who are struggling to find that intrinsic motivation like how do you suggest that they hold themselves accountable if they can't afford to hire a coach necessarily. You know like you mentioned, okay, block some time out on your calendar. I love that suggestion that you said, well suggestion and it's a truth that you said like sometimes you have to be selfish to get the best version of yourself, for your family, for your business, for everyone and I think that's such a great tip to keep in mind for our listeners. Is there anything else that we should keep in mind in terms of, yeah, like how do you hold yourself accountable because it's so easy to make excuses and I can't tell you like as a coach to our students, you know there will be times that we’ll have a constant dialogue in the private coaching for them and then like I won't hear from them for a few weeks and it's like what happened, you know, and it's like oh well, you know, this happened and not happened and I get it oh my god I'm so compassionate completely appreciate it. But, it is easy to make excuses. So how do you get over that?
Jay Kali: [00:28:32] Whoo! yeah I mean you know I think it's one of those, it's an excuse. I mean that's a hard word to say because you know we all have our issues. We all have our struggles, we all of our obstacles and it's hard to stay motivated sometimes with that. I would say, I highly recommend having an accountability partner. If it's not that coach then find your buddy you know and it doesn't have to be in person. You know I have tons of people in groups that are friends in groups and they're waiting to post in a Facebook group because you know they're not in the same town with somebody who's as motivated they are to get results. And so they look forward, you know I'm sure you see it in your private groups, too. They look forward to being back in that group to, you know, to talk about their joys and talk about their wins. And that helps motivate the others. So a group atmosphere or group setting is huge. It doesn't have to be in person. It can be virtual also. The next one we talked about earlier. Baby steps. Now you take those baby steps and they build. Oh they build, they build, they build. And the last one that I highly recommend people do and it might sound adolescence and it might sound childish, print you up a big chart or on your calendar, you know, or your date counter something like that and get little gold stars or whatever you want to do to mark and you just start marking. Mark, mark, mark. Every time you do something, let's say could be you know that's benefiting you okay. I went for a 10 minute walk. Okay well you know I got 30 minutes on the elliptical today or whatever it could be put a little star on there. And then whenever you see those stars adding up you're not going to want to break that also (Flori agrees). And so, the visual reminders, you know, having little alarms on the phone, you know little alarms, I tell people that all the time. Set an alarm. If you set, if you block out that time on your calendar 10am or 12.30 or 6pm whatever the time it is, you need to set an alarm to set beep beep beep that's that time and you need to have the self-fortitude to say stop everything I'm doing. I'm going to go workout real quick and then I'll get back into this. And spend that 10 15 20 minutes like I keep on saying that because most people think they got a work out for hours (Flori agrees). But if I can get you results in 20 minutes aren't you, you're gonna be even more ecstatic. And usually what happens is we take on more than what we can chew back to like you know you have someone who's just starting out like whoa I heard Flori starting to do hill sprint so I'm up to hill sprint it, you know, the next thing you know they, you know, jacked up their knee or they got injured and said I knew I wasn't meant for this. No you're just taking on too much to fast. And so it's like let's just build you up. And once again those little steps, little steps, little steps, little steps in is like well this is easy. Then you say whoa I got 20 minutes. Why don't I just push this to 30 and then you start realising it. And I think it comes back to like we're talking about having difficulties but it always comes back to that airline announcement. Put your mask on first. You know you have to. You have to breathe first before you can help anybody else in this world. And so I think that is the internal motivation, you know, you, like I loved it when Mums say what are you doing this for? I'm doing it for my kids. Well do it for your kids then. You know don't your kids want their grandma's grandma around. Don't you wanna be a great grandma at 80 years old? Don't you want to pass on your kids the knowledge that you didn't have? And if that's not intrinsic motivation in itself to be the example, to be the leader of the family, what I call the mums are the backbones of the family. They push the family everywhere. It's not the husband, it's not the kids. Mama says, it goes. Mum is the backbone. If mum said we're gonna have veggies for dinner we're having veggies for dinner.
Flori Pyke: [00:31:48] Yeah I know definitely. Yeah.
Jay Kali: [00:31:51] Bottom line, take that role. Take that power because it’s yours and use it. Use it.
Flori Pyke: [00:31:58] And like you said I mean like it carries through to everything. It's like your kids, your diet, your business.
Jay Kali: [00:32:06] Your sleep, your energy, your sex, everything. Everything is affected by you giving yourself 10 15 or 20 minutes a day.
Flori Pyke: [00:32:14] Yeah. And I have to say I just want to like recap that analogy or that you just drew with 'put your mask on first' to the airlines announcement because it is so true. And I know you touched on that before but that is like the perfect comparison. It's so true. Like you really need to look out for yourself first before you can, you know, when you've got your best version of yourself then that's where the magic happens with your family, with your kids, with your business, with the everything.
Jay Kali: [00:32:45] Everything. What's that old saying that, you know, you don't inspire others by dimming your light. You know, let your light shine to inspire others to shine their light just as bright. And I mean that's honestly my goal, what I've been trying to do, you know, it's just to help to say, you know, you can do this. You can shine bright too and you can be that motivator for other people. You know I just talked about just your generations of your family. You know, if you go to church, if you go to social gatherings and people see you've lost 10 15 20 kilos, not only are they asking what are you doing. They're happy for you. They're happy for you. And it just builds, builds and builds and builds Flori, it's really crazy.
Flori Pyke: [00:33:22] No no I love it. And so, just before we kind of start wrapping up, Jay. I'd love for you to, like obviously, you know, we've connected before and you mention the term to me empowered mindset. Is there anything else that we should kind of be across when it comes to this notion of empowered mindset when it ties in with fitness for our listeners? Because like you know mindset is so huge for us, so is there anything else that you want to share with us and our listeners there?
Jay Kali: [00:33:50] Well, you know, honestly the one that I didn't really bring up and I've been saving that, you're talking about how do we stay intrinsically motivated, how do we get doing this. You know I really believe that you can actually think and be fit. Once again we go back into the mindset and I'm sure all of your listeners heard of think and be rich, you know, it's almost the same concept. You can think and be fit you know the visualisation technique so it fits. Let's say you are just absolutely not motivated, not wanting to do anything. Spend five minutes visualising yourself exercising. Spend five minutes visualising yourself exercising. How do you feel afterwards? And just giving yourself that. After you do that for maybe a couple of two or three days you're gonna, say I'm just sitting here might as well just do it. Yes once you've done it here you can do it here. Right. So you can actually, in my opinion, I really believe you can think and be fit. If you walk past a mirror and you see yourself as that size 6 wearing that sexy skirt that you've always been wanting to wear it's going to happen (Flori agrees). It's going to happen you know. But if you constantly walk by the mirror and say I don't want to see that and avoid it and keep walking. But you're just avoiding issues now, you know you're never going to actually even solve it. And then now you're, since you're cutting that and decompartmentalising. Now you're not whole. You know and I believe it really comes into the whole holistic effect. So I mean we talk about empower mindset. I really believe that you can train smart, you know think and be fit, train smart. I believe in lifestyle nutrition. I don't think you have to fit any crazy silly diet. I think the thing is most of the time we don't eat enough and it's crazy to hear. But I truly believe that. And the last one's empowered mindset. I think once you have all three of those you know, fitness, nutrition and mindset. That's your holistic training. That's how you succeed. I mean there's a reason the industry is failing. The fitness industry is failing right. It is because we're only trying to do one part or the other part. It's exercise. No no no it's diet no no no this. We're forgetting the mindset. And then why not use all three of them at the same time.
Flori Pyke: [00:35:47] Yeah. No. I totally love that. And I couldn't agree more with you around that tagline 'think and be fit'. You know we are really big on vision boarding and in fact whenever a new student comes to us and they embark on the journey with us, one of the first things we get them to do is really to set their vision so to figure out well where are they steering their business and where do they want to be in five years time, you know and we get them to, you know, we even had a whole session a while back around vision boarding like creating exactly what you know when you alluded to that example of like you want to be a size 6 and you want to look hot in the steamy dress and like those kinds of visuals of where you want to get to be in your business and your fitness whatever, like visualise that. Put it on a board and like smack bang put it in front of your desk or somewhere that you see it every single day. And I could not agree more with the power that visualisation has for creating those results.
Jay Kali: [00:36:47] That little, that favourite dress or whatever goal you want to get into, take it out of your closet and hang it on a door. Hang it on your mirror in your bathroom. So every time you walk past that thing, you see and you remind yourself, that's what I'm going after. That's what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing this for. That's what I'm going after that. Because it's not about getting to the size 6 wearing that black small dress. It's everything else that comes from that (Flori agrees). You know the self-confidence, the feeling good naked, the you know, it that's just one small thing because in it, it's great because you can always look back to that. You know so, we're talking about your track stuff, you know, you need to use those past to build yourself up. You know if you don't have those rocks in your past and know that you can rely on those then you're always going to feel, you know loss and I don't. But you have to look back and say look what I've accomplished. Look I've already gone through. There's nothing that can stop me. Only me (Flori agrees). Because everybody in this life has won things, they gain things and they have lost things. And it's do we hold onto the losses or do we look at the gains and keep on growing?
Flori Pyke: [00:37:06] Yeah. And look at the losses and grow from them. And I think that applies so much to fitness as it does in business. Like there's such a link there I think when it comes to your mind in approaching those two things. So I'm totally on board with that. It's funny to, like one of the things that really, I felt I had to share when you're saying you know think and be fit like I know for myself like when I was struggling to get back you know if I ever I'm kind of struggling to hit the gym whatever I'll go and I'll buy myself some new workout gear and then I start the day wearing that gear and it's like OK no excuses 'coz I am not wearing this every day for the next five days until I work out and sometimes I'll be honest I'll catch myself like day two and a half and it's like OK I'm still wearing the gear (Jay laughs) like something's got to change. But it kind of holds me accountable, you know (Flori laughs) and it's funny you find these little hacks to make it work for yourself. But yeah that's a little hot tip for me over here.
Jay Kali: [00:38: 57] I like that and I also like using it as a reward (Flori agrees). Go walk or go to the gym 10 days straight, I'm going to buy myself a new pair of shoes or I'm gonna buy myself those new cute shirt or whatever it is. You know I think that's the other thing, we forget to, we don't ever celebrate our victories. You know I can't tell you how many students I've had that you know I'm not losing or anything, you know I'm stuck here at the same place. Yeah but you're not gaining. You know we've been able to maintain here and we know that your fitness isn't on point. We know your nutrition has not been on point because it's been crazy you know you're dealing with your newborn. But guess what. We're not gaining ten pounds. So are we not improving? You know did we not improve in let's say one or two months? Yes sure. You might not lost those pounds like you thought you're going to. But you didn't gain it. So celebrate those little victories. Celebrate those wins. You know I did go to the gym three days this week. I did go to the gym five days this week. You know what I want to buy myself those shoes. I'm gonna go buy myself that shirt. I think it works a lot. We gotta reward ourself.
Flori Pyke: [00:39:58] I totally agree. I think that often time especially for mums like we don't stop and smell the roses because life is so crazy. You gotta stop and take a moment. Take stock of, you know the achievements that you have that you've been able to accomplish be it in business, be it with fitness, be it from a mindset standpoint and higher feeling within yourself. I couldn't agree more like if they're not celebrated enough when they should be because when you do stop and smell the roses, you get to really reflect on what's worked but also what's not worked and then you can learn and apply from those pitfalls.
Jay Kali: [00:40:34] Absolutely. Absolutely 100 percent. I love it. I mean yeah I know. I don't know. I don't know why we don't give ourselves that time and just simple reflection you know. And I think it's lost but I mean we hear all the time it's all about the journey. But we're always looking for that goal, we're always looking for, you know the end. But even once we hit that we're always going to set another goal (Flori agrees). Why not. And you know why not just enjoy what you have and just know it's happening on its own time and just working working and you know you apply that Kaizen principle. You're always consciously working yourself 1 percent better. You know deep down inside it might not be happening right now but it's coming. It's coming because I'm working towards it.
Flori Pyke: [00:41:12] Yeah. You know I love it. I love it so much. Okay, well thank you so much for these incredible insights and knowledge bonds, Jay. It's been such a pleasure to have you come onboard today and guest speak to our audience. I've really enjoyed it and it's been a topic that we haven't necessarily touched on but I think it's so important because it really does translate to all aspects of your life especially for as a as a mum or a woman in business who, you know you're trying to grow business or you've got kids and there's so many balls that you're juggling and I think you know often as particularly mums in business, we tend to struggle a bit with self-confidence and backing ourselves who may be out of the workforce for a while. We've had kids. We don't feel so hot about ourselves. And so I think this episode is certainly one that a lot of us can take huge learning from and get empowered and excited to start applying some of these great tips that you've shared with us. So thank you so much.
Jay Kali: [00:42:13] No, it's been a pleasure, Flori. And if it helps your listeners it's been even better for me.
Flori Pyke: [00:42:19] No, it's been beautiful. All right so for our listeners, to grab your show notes please pop over to our site at theelevatory.com/podcast. If you loved the episode let us know. Drop us a review. We so appreciate it and we'd love to hear from you. And Jay where do we go to connect with you? Tell us a little bit more about where we can find you and your programs. Yeah. We'd love to hear a little bit more on that now.
Jay Kali: [00:42:43] Well Flori, I mean I had a great time. I love giving, right. I'm a big believer in go give her, go give her, so if if you don't mind I would love to give your audience my Amazon best-selling free book.
Flori Pyke: [00:42:53] Oh my god. Woohoo! Yes we'd love that!
Jay Kali: [00:42:57] I wanna tell you right now. Straight up. It's not full of fluff. It's not one of those books that gives you a part of the answer. We don't have time for fluff. We don't have time to read 300 page books. This book's under 100 pages. It's nice, short, fast, smooth like I said it's made Amazon best seller and it also includes one year of training and insight.
Flori Pyke: [00:43:18] Oh my God amazing!
Jay Kali: [00:43:20] Amazing. So there's absolutely no excuses. It breaks down the education part on why we do fitness exercise. I demonstrate everything. Everything has links to videos of me doing it all and then the final section is called motivate and it's helping you build up that mindset, understanding hey we all stumble how do we get back on, all kinds of great stuff. I think your audience is going to love it.
Flori Pyke: [00:43:41] I'm so excited.I'm gonna love it. I'm like where do we get it. I want it (laughing).
Jay Kali: [00:43:48] Here we go. So what you do just go straight to my website Kali coaching, K A L I coaching dot com and then forward slash secret gift all one word and right there you're gonna have a two options you can download it now for FREE pdf straight now or you can get shipping or the paperback because some people like to feel it. So if you'd like the paperback version compared to the digital version there's free plus shipping.
Flori Pyke: [00:44:18] Okay I love it. So is that going to help us to really like fast track our results here on the fitness front for the next 12 months?
Jay Kali: [00:44:26] I think you would fast track it exponentially honestly. Coz I have not seen any other book like this. I've not seen anybody lay out as much information and give away stuff so much for free. I actually lost a mentor because of this book (Jay laughs). He said I'm giving away too much. How am I supposed to help people if I don't give away? He said no, no, no your goal is to get them on the phone. No that's not my goal. My goal is to help thousands and millions of women, you know and if that's through a free book or that's with a free plus shipping book- I'm OK with that 100 percent, Flori.
Flori Pyke: [00:45:02] I love your passion. It's like, it's jumping off the screen for me because I'm recording with Jay as well in this video. It's just like oozing so yes I love it.
Jay Kali: [00:45:13] I wish I could give you that big hug, Flori. That's I wish I could do (both laughing)
Flori Pyke: [00:45:18] It'd be a big old hug because this is a big mumma over here right now (both laughing). All right. Well Jay, thank you so much for that. I'm pumped to check that out as I'm sure our listeners will be as well. And look, it's really custom for us to basically wrap up every episode with a parting thought and I thought it'd be great for you to share a parting thought with our listeners so I'm gonna put you a little bit on the spot here. What would be, you know, we've talked a lot around mindset and fitness and business, and mum life and all these things. What, you know, if you had to kind of give our listeners one parting thought for the day, what would it be?
Jay Kali: [00:45:59] Whooo. One parting thought for the day. I don't know, for some reason this one's been really weighing really heavy on me lately. I think that, have faith in yourself (Flori agrees). Have faith in yourself. I mean I think that there is nothing that we can't achieve if we had the faith and the belief in ourselves and just remember that. Out of all the trials and all the tribulations I realised I had to have faith in myself and I had to have belief that I'm going to get through everything that comes in my way.
Flori Pyke: [00:46:34] Love it. It's so true. It all really does come down to backing yourself. I mean if you don't back yourself nothing happens. So I couldn't agree more with you. All right. Absolutely love it. Thank you so much again, Jay. It's been such a pleasure.
Jay Kali: [00:46:49] I loved it, Flori. Thank you.
Flori Pyke: [00:46:51] All right. And to our listeners, remember ladies be brave in your business.
HOW TO CONNECT WITH ANNA AND FLORI
Business School: www.theelevatory.com
Phone: 1300 634 230
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